آزمون سطح نگارش زبان انگلیسی از اعضای سایت

[DarKfish]

سلام به دوستان عزیزم،
دیگه تنبلی بسه! وقته درسه!:134:
میخوام در این تاپیک یک موضوع ساده رو عنوان کنم و دوستان در حدی که توانشو دارند (اصلا قرار نیست کسی با کسی مقایسه بشه) در مورد موضوع یک پاراگراف بنویسند.
سعی میکنم تا جایی که بشه ایرادها و پیشنهادات رو به دوستان بدم،
نوشتن متن انگلیسی یعنی تسلط به لغت، گرامر و ذهن آماده،
خواهشا خجالت نکشید و برای افرادی که توی نوشتن پیشرفت کنند، امتیاز خواهم داد.
در آینده آزمون های بیشتر و نمودار پیشرفت هر کس گزارش داده میشه.
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اولین سوال:
Some people believe that the best way to succeed is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. Other people think that hard work is not as important as good luck. Which point of view do you think is true and why?
use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
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برای مثال جواب من:
In my opinion trying to reach a goal is the main triumph not the goal itself.
If you made capricious jumps from one goal to another ,because you have a bad luck or you don't have enough qualification to handle problems, you would feel embarrassed
making an effort to achieve a goal can motivate you to understand and gain new experiments.

[ehsantaghavi2007]

hi
sorry because I answer this Q first
anyone who has experiece can answer this question but no one can prove it because they just say their behavier
you know it is not a scientific Q therefore no one can support idea very strong
but my idea is that both have goal and good luck is too important.we have 2 goal:the short-term goal and the long term-goal and usually the short term is in a way of long term
have a great plan can help to achieve dream and goal.it is necessary to work hard.if you take it easy you are going to lose in this big game but if you have bad experience like have a problem or have not enough benefit never never embarrassed.losing and doubt are steps of victory.i can not say everything is goal and work because we believe that good luck can change everything like people who do not have anything and have low IQ but just for a good luck know they have everything you think.
.at last i want to say believe it or not self-confidence is the most important thing in life

دوستان و اساتید ببخشید میدونم خیلی افتضاحه و خیلی غلط داره چون آخرین مدرک های زبان من مال 3 سال پیشه و بعد هم متاسفانه ادامه ندادم
موفق باشید

[DarKfish]

First of all, I appreciate the time you took to write this text.
Neither being shy nor having terrible mistakes justify not participating in this session.
I am pleased that you have enough enthusiasm and courage to write an English text by yourself. Unfortunately you have some mistakes in your text; therefore please let me correct them.
sorry because I answer (You are answering a question. Or you answered it. Because you are willing to answer it now and it is temporary, you have to use present continuous.) this Q first :
anyone who has experience (it is better to add an specific experience, not in general. E.g. experience of modern life) can answer this question but no one can prove it because they just say their behavior(insights or suggestions or their personal ideas)
you know it is not a scientific Q therefore no one can support (their) idea very strong(strongly, try to use adverbs, in this case, predominantly is more meaningful)
but my idea is that both have(having) goal and good luck is too(so- too has negative sense) important. we have 2 goal(s):the short-term goal and the long term-goal and usually the short term is in a way of long term
have(ing) a great plan can help(us) to achieve dream and goal.it is necessary to work hard.if you take it easy you are going(will is better, when you use “going to”, you mean it has been decided, for prediction it is better to use will, however “going to” is not wrong) to lose in this big game but if you (already) have had experience like have(having) a problem or have(ing) not enough benefit never never embarrassed (? I can’t get it. Could you write in Pesian?).losing and doubt are steps of victory.i can not say everything is goal and work because we believe that good luck can change everything like people who do not have anything and have low IQ but just for a good luck know(?) they have everything you think
.at last i want to say (believe it or not) self-confidence is the most important thing in life
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Thank you ehsan,
it is better to write short sentence in order to prevent reader from being baffled.

[علی بختیاری]

hi

if i understand true you mean :

i think for reach a big goal we should work hard but chance is a part of uor live too.

for example i have a fish room and work hard but in the night break a tank and die my fish. i think its may bad chance.

فک کنم خیلی گند زدم تو این جمله هایی که سرهم کردم ولی خداییش هرچی بلد بودمو نوشتم و از ذهنم کمک گرفتم و به سراغ دیکشنری عزیز نرفتم.از پیش دانشگاهی دیگه دور زبانو خط کشیدم.

[DarKfish]

hi

if i understand true you mean :

i think for reach a big goal we should work hard but chance is a part of uor live too.

for example i have a fish room and work hard but in the night break a tank and die my fish. i think its may bad chance.

فک کنم خیلی گند زدم تو این جمله هایی که سرهم کردم ولی خداییش هرچی بلد بودمو نوشتم و از ذهنم کمک گرفتم و به سراغ دیکشنری عزیز نرفتم.از پیش دانشگاهی دیگه دور زبانو خط کشیدم.

اول از همه خوشحالم که جسارت دوستان رو میبینم، باور کنید من فقط در طول زندگی دو ترم زبان رفتم!. از وقتی تونستم یه چیزایی یاد بگیرم که خودم کار رو شروع کردم. از نوشتن، حرف زدن، ترجمه کردن. تا وقتی کسی باور نکنه که زبانش مشکل داره و باید خودش تقویتش کنه، هیچ وقت زبان خارجی رو به معنای واقعی یاد نمیگیره.
پس عزیزان، خواهشا همه شرکت کنند تا عنوان دیگری انتخاب بشه (فکر کنم هر هفته یک عنوان خوب باشه). خیلی ها ممکنه مسلط به صحبت کردن یا خوندن باشن ولی در نگارش ضعیف. پس کسی فکر نکنه که الان بد بنویسه یعنی زبانش به کلی بد هست.
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Dear Ali,
Since your sentence is short, I will revise and reform all of your text. So, you can easily compare yours to mine in order to know which parts have been written wrongly or could have been improved.
If I realize (or understand) what you really mean, I will express my idea in the following (way):
I think for reaching a big goal, we should work hard, however chance can be considered as another part that should be taken into account in our life.
For example, I have a fish room and I am a diligent man, but suddenly one of my tanks was broken in one night; as a result my poor fish died. I think it was my misfortune (or bad luck).

[elias.kh]

Hi
Mr.darkfish, I think it's the best program for English learner in Emruzi sait
If some one succeed he shoud work hard and don't give up
I think only way to will be succeed is try hard
Luck is important but hard work is more important
Have good time

[DarKfish]

Hi
Mr.darkfish, I think it's the best program for English learner in Emruzi sait
If some one succeed he shoud work hard and don't give up
I think only way to will be succeed is try hard
Luck is important but hard work is more important
Have good time

Dear Elias,
Thank you for your kind words,
I am again, reforming your text:
If some one wants to succeed in their goals, they should work hard and not give up.
I think the only way to be successful (or to succeed) is working hard (try means as struggling here .
Although luck can be regarded as an important thing, working hard is more important than that.
Have a good time,